(Hon Vill Ha)

I just came back from the Rave (well, actually I just came back from Barnes & Noble, after going to the Rave). I went to see Pulse, yet another, as I said on a previous post, J-horror movie. And since it is a J-horror movie, we'll compare it with another recent movie of the same kind. Remember The Grudge? Remember how bad you thought it was? Well, Pulse is worse. Yup, you heard me correctly. It's pretty much the same movie: cute blonde in trouble, haunted by really pale, weird-ass spirits. Or maybe SMG wasn't blonde in that movie? I honestly don't remember, but, at any rate, Kristen Bell is certainly blonde in the movie. And, just like The Grudge, Pulse sucks. But more so. I watched in increasing disbelief -and mounting boredom- as the characters tried to figure what was going on. At some point, they discover red tape prevents the evil stuff from creeping in, but the audience never really understands why this is so. But I've read somewhere that part of the J-horror "charm" (for lack of a better word) is that they don't try to explain everything. Well, now that does certainly explain a lot.
The movie is so slow and uneventful that the 1h 27 min it lasts actually feel like The Return of the King, minus the incredible filmmaking behind that fantastic movie. I mean, when you are actually dying for the main characters to, well, die, so you can get the hell out of the theater, you know you're in trouble.
The only good thing in the movie is Kristen Bell, who looks really cute. Also, the director made sure we get plenty of shots from her back (and I mean plenty, my friends), so we can appreciate how well engineered those jeans are. And she does a good job (and not only of filling those pants up), with her character, Mattie, but she is too Veronica Mars- like. Then again, Mattie is a teenager trying to solve a mysterious case, so I guess there wasn't much for Bell to work with.
In other words: spare yourselves, and don't go see Pulse. Instead, you can wait for the new J-horror movie opening in October. What was the name? Oh, yeah: The Grudge 2.