Pirata fortachón

Aquí tenéis un bocetillo rápido que hice el otro día. ¡Espero que os guste!

Inktober #30: Found

¡Bienvenidos al penúltimo día de Inktober, el mes entintado por excelencia! Para ilustrar el tema de hoy se me ocurrió dibujar a un pirata encontrando un tesoro, y a otro pirata encontrando al primer pirata y a punto de robárselo. Como podéis ver, el dibujo está hecho primero a lápiz y después a tinta sobre papel marrón. Para el entintado usé mi bolígrafo negro Energel, mi Pentel pocketbrush, y tinta negra y blanca aplicada con pincel. ¡Espero que os guste!

Dos decepciones

Como no todo lo que leo o veo es siempre fantástico y entretenido, aquí tenéis un par de ejemplos de decepciones recientes.

Para empezar, una película: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Llevaba tiempo queriendo ver esta cuarta entrega de las aventuras del capitán Jack Sparrow, pero si la tercera ya me desagradó, esta cuarta se lleva la palma. Para ser completamente honesto, debo admitir que sólo presté atención durante los primeros cincuenta y cinco minutos más o menos, y tras la escena con las sirenas, me rendí, cogí el portátil, y dejé que la película continuase mientras yo me dedicaba a hacer cosas más interesantes. De vez en cuando levanté la cabeza, vi que una vez más los protagonistas estaban enzarzados en una gigantesca y caótica batalla, y continué navegando por Internet. O sea, que ni sé cómo termina la película, ni me interesa.

Y para terminar, un libro (que, por cierto, ha sido adaptado al cine): John Dies at the End, de David Wong. La novela está protagonizada por un par de perdedores que se ven envueltos en una aventura con tintes de horror, ciencia ficción, lo paranormal, y la paranoia que caracteriza las historias de H.P. Lovecraft. Aunque en teoría está narrada en clave de humor y se supone que es graciosísima, a mí no sólo no me hizo maldita la gracia, sino que ni siquiera me vi con fuerzas de terminarla. Las primeras 100 páginas las aguanté bastante bien; las siguientes 100 se me hicieron pesadas y cansinas; las siguientes 100 pusieron a prueba los límites de mi paciencia; y las últimas 160 decidí que mejor no me las leía. O sea, que ni sé cómo termina el libro, ni me interesa.

Así que ya veis: no siempre acierto con lo que escojo ver o leer. Con algo de suerte, no habrá más decepciones este año, aunque nunca se sabe. De todas formas, ¡os mantendré informados!

Get It Done!

As you all know, Disney has bought Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion. Of course, as we've been talking here, the possibilities now are endless for Star Wars, Indiana Jones and all the rest of the Lucas franchises. There are many stories that I would like to be told, many movies that I would like to see, many books that I would like to read. Episodes VII, VIII and IX, once just a dream, are now a reality. A bigger presence of Star Wars in Disney theme parks is a given at short term. Now that we find under the same roof franchises such as those of Lucasfilm, Marvel, Jim Henson or Pixar, we're going to need a ver big dam to stop the rapid waters of the crossover river. Just think a little about it: Indiana Jones crosses Captain America in the forties, Wall-E meets R2-D2, Howard the Duck goes Muppet...

Just like you, I'm not a fan of any of these options. Maybe because I tend to like to keep my franchises separate. Maybe because they just plain suck. But there's one other option, one possibility, over which I would jump like a madman. And the thing is, I think it's really feasible.

As far as I know, Disney now controls both the rights to Lucasfilm's videogame franchise Monkey Island (a movie adaptation of which has been rumored for ages) and to its own succesful Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise, which borrowed heavily from the spirit of the MI videogames, which in turn were inspired mostly on the Pirates of the Caribbean Disney ride. A better match we'll never find.

C'mon, Disney executives, this is a no-brainer. A new PotC movie would market itself (especially if you throw Johnny Depp into the mix), and the audience push that the Monkey Island franchise would give to it (because it still has a ton of fans around the world, believe it or not) would guarantee its success in theatres, while at the same time its cohort of characters and events and locations would insuflate a lot of fresh air into a movie franchise in very much need of it.

Really, picture Jack Sparrow and Guybrush Threepwood swordfighting MI style. Barbossa and LeChuck teaming up. The one monkey and the three-headed other one just... doing monkey things. Pintel, Ragetti and the Head of the Navigator. Stan the Used Boat Salesman.

Just hire Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio to write the screenplay, and please add Ron Gilbert to the team. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Secret of Monkey Island. How would that be for a treat?

Garfios y barbas

El primer miércoles de mes tenemos reunión de profesores en mi escuela, lo que significa que es el momento de hacer un bocetillo de esos que tanto me entretienen y que me ayudan a soportar las largas e interminables reuniones a que me someten. Como novedad, hoy he cogido un lápiz en vez de un bolígrafo, y el resultado lo podéis apreciar aquí al lado. Lo más curioso del dibujo es que, si miráis bien, podréis apreciar una textura escamada en varias partes. Esto, confieso, no ha sido a propósito, sino un feliz accidente, ya que el dibujo ha adquirido la textura de la agenda/calendario que tenía debajo del papel para apoyarlo. (Aunque, por supuesto, quedaría mejor si dijera que lo tenía todo planeado.) En fin: ¡espero que os guste!

One-Eyed Pirate

Here you have yet another sketch I drew while sitting (and listening) in a meeting. Just like the pensive old man I showed you a couple of days ago, I drew this one with a black pen and nothing else, and I kind of like how it turned out. I'm really enjoying working in this style, which I'm coming to think of as my "true style" for a variety of reasons. At any rate, I hope you like it!

Bucaneros batracios

Aquí tenéis uno de esos dibujillos que me gusta hacer durante mis interesantísimas reuniones mensuales. Como de costumbre, lo hice directamente a tinta, y creo que me ha quedado bastante simpático, así que espero que os guste!

Italian Flavor

I got the Ms. Marvel Storyteller one-shot for two reasons. One, because the cover is really cool, with Ms. Marvel in a pirate costume; and two, because this comic book is drawn by Giuseppe Camuncoli, the artist that will be drawing X-Infernus, whose cover I spotlighted last month. But the truth is the book is neither great nor awful: it's just okay, one of those meh books that you don't mind reading but you wouldn't miss anything if you didn't. The story by Brian Reed was sort of cute, but I didn’t really relate to any of the characters –or cared too much about them, to be honest. The artwork by the Italian team of Camuncoli and Lorenzo Ruggiero (inks) was somewhere between cartoony and classic superhero, so I liked it but it didn’t blow me away (and I might actually get X-Infernus). So, if you have nothing else to do and you know somebody who bought the book, go ahead and read it, but don't waste your money on it.

Dress Like a Pirate

This is a picture I drew last week. I think it was influenced by Kate Beckinsale's character in Van Helsing (it was on the other day, right before we started our D&D session), and by Missy Peregrym's look at the Reaper panel from the San Diego Comic Con I watched shortly after seeing Beckinsale in the aforementioned movie. Both looks kind of combined in my head, and all of a sudden I had yet another outfit for good ole Dae. I guess I was too lazy though, because I didn't ink it, hahaha. Anyway, I hope you like it!

Anchor's Aweigh

It's been almost a year since I posted here my review of the second installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean saga, and 47 days since Finn5fel did the same with his review of the third one, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I finally saw that movie yesterday. And it was about time.

First of all, I have to say that I kinda liked it. Of course, I was ready for the worst, so that doesn't come as very big a surprise. It often happens. Depending on the hype one movie, book or any other sort of art medium has gotten, it tends to please more or less the viewer. If you've only heard the highest compliments to it, it will surely disappoint you on some measure. If you've only heard bad words, it won't seem that bad a piece to you after all. It's the 'ears of the viewer' syndrome.

At World's End is definitely the worst of the three pirates movies to date. And, just like Fel, I hope it will be the last one (what seems improbable, though, if you've seen its last few scenes). It has an unsteady rhythm, and, in my honest opinion, is forty minutes longer than it should have been. It gives too much room to characters that don't need it, and there's a bunch of extremely long scenes (specially Sparrow's introduction) the movie could have won a lot without.
There was a lot of loose ends that needed to be taken care of, and this conclusion to the saga treats each and every one of them, but with extremely different results. Some of them I liked, some of them I didn't. The story, gratefully, doesn't forget a single one of all the characters from the previous movies, and even introduces a few more. But, on treating all of them, the story is inevitably burdened, and loses the consistency the first two indeed had.

I agree with Fel that in this movie the Pirates trademark crossings and double-crossings are carried to such an absurd degree of exaggeration that, instead of attracting the viewers attention (or, at least, mine) they lose it. But I don't think, as he does, that this movie lacks of audacity. It's true that the incredibility factor is in this movie way more scarce than in the two previous installments. But this third film has its own moments, too. Very few, comparing. Granted. But I think it respects the Pirates saga spirit to a certain degree.

I also laughed, more or less, just like with its predecessors. And I gotta admit: the parrot and the monkey I found kind of amusing. They are a bit expendable, but on some occasions they are the ones that provide that incredibility factor I was talking about.

The movie's end, I liked. On regarding both Will Turner/Elizabeth Swann love story and Jack Sparrow's fate. Some of the characters live, some of them die, and some of them... well, do other things. Sadly, the plot, although enjoyable, is extremely predictable. But, then again, this is a Disney/Bruckheimer film, so that goes without saying.

At Patience's End

I was going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End on Thursday evening, but I was too tired and, fearing I would have to struggle not to fall asleep, decided against it. Instead, I went to see it on Friday, and I think it's a good thing I did. Had I seen it on Thursday, I would have blamed myself for what I would have thought of the film. "Maybe I was too tired," I would have told myself. "You didn't enjoy it because you were falling asleep," I would have argued. "You'll like it better when you see it again," I would have claimed. But since I saw it on Friday with all my senses alert, there is no excuse: this film should be the last Pirates movie. Please.

At World's End is almost three hours long, and I have no problems with long movies, as long as they draw me into the universe they portray. However, I basically spent said three hours thinking "Now it's going to get better. Now it's going to be funny." It didn't get better, though. And maybe worst of all, it didn't get funny. It actually reminded me of its trailer quite a bit. When I first saw the trailer, I shrugged and thought "Well, I guess they're keeping the good stuff for later." Watching the movie, I had the exact same feeling. A shame there was no "later" after the movie was over.

Since this is a spoiler-free review (as we always do in Sunny Jhanna), there are many things I can't talk about, but I can say that several characters from previous installments don't have the screen time I would have liked them to have, while some others spend way too much time on screen. That is one thing I didn't like, but the main problem was that I didn't care for the story. Just like in the previous films, there is crossing and double-crossing, but the term "double-crossing" is a gross understatement when applied to this movie: there're so many double-, triple-, and quadruple-crossings that you decide not to care and just go along. You start not caring who's working with who, and who's against who. And then, characters you don't care at all jump to the fore, and the combination of story you don't care for and characters you don't care about either proves deadly. To sum this point up, At World's End -just like Davey Jones, and unlike the two previous films- has no heart: it's just an empty shell that leaves you indifferent.

The second problem, and related to this lack of heart, is the lack of audacity. The first two movies left me open-mouthed, unable to believe the audacity of the visuals, the stunts, and the crazy situations the characters found themselves in. I couldn't get my head around how somebody would have the courage and the sheer nerve to come up with outrageous ideas like those, put them in film, and make them work (undead pirates swordfighting, the famous rolling wheel, Jack's escape from the native islanders). But all of a sudden, the movie makers decided to get serious and conservative, and thus At World's End has no such scenes, not even one. Everything feels dull, repetitive; it has a nasty smell of been there, done that --and when they did it the first time it was much better. There is no sense or feeling of exhilarating, rioutous adventure. Instead, we get a story relentlessly and clumsily plodding forward, trying to get the job done and make it work. But it doesn't.

Finally, the third and maybe worst problem is that At World's End is just not fun (or funny). I laughed out loud with Curse of the Black Pearl and Dead Man's Chest. The dialogue was witty, the situations hilarious, the surprises fun and exciting. With At World's End, I laughed out loud once in three hours. I won't say the other jokes and comedic moments fell flat, but I just smiled or chuckled, somewhat amused, instead of roaring with the laughter that possessed me while watching the first two films. And don't even get me started on the monkey: I could have killed that little bastard every time he was onscreen.

I thought the best thing in the movie was Davey Jones, not only because he looks cool, but because of his acting and his subplot (the only compelling one). And he was still affected by not enough time on screen and way too many other things going on. Every time he showed up I kept thinking "Now it's going to get better." And it did, for as little time as Captain Squid was the main focus of attention. But that was too little.

Being nitpicky, the five endings were sort of anticlimatic. It seems The Return of the King made it okay for movies to have a gazillion "final scenes", and if Spiderman 3 wasn't enough proof of that, At World's End gives us another chance to wonder "Why didn't they stop there?" And since we're talking about endings, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies always have a hidden scene after the credits, so stick around to see this one: it certainly is the most relevant out of the three.

So no heart, no audacity, no comedy, no compelling story, not enough Davey Jones. Heck, not even the music was as good as it had been before! All these ingredients make for a dull movie that seems even worse because of its length. I was hoping I would go see it three times like I did with Curse and Chest, but, as it happens, once was more than enough. Before it opened, I was rooting for it to break Spiderman 3's records -which it got by breaking Dead Man's Chest's-, but now that I've seen both, Spiderman 3 is a much better movie, so I'm not sure what I want now. Well, as a matter of fact, I do: I want them to stop making Pirates movies, something I never thought I would say. The first two were fantastic, truly terrific films. This one is sort of okay at best, and that's being generous. Maybe if it had been the first movie, I would have been somewhat impressed. But after seeing the first two, this is just a half-assed attempt at… what? Making more money? Finishing the trilogy? Giving us more Sparrow than we can stand? Boring the audience? In that, they succeeded.

The Squids Are Back in Town

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last year you'll know that Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End opens on May 25th. That's in two weeks, my friends; and I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited. I know there's a bunch of naysayers claiming the second movie sucked, but we didn't like them anyway, right?
At any rate, ever since Dead Man's Chest opened last year I had been wanting to draw a picture of Davey Jones, that ultra-cool looking villain; and now, ten months later, I've finally gotten around to doing it. The picture is based on a photograph, and it took me a bit over an hour and fifteen minutes to draw it. And to keep me -even more- entertained, I was listening to SModcast #8 while playing with the pencils. So there you go. I hope you like it!

Somebody Call Sid Meier!

I just thought I'd draw a pirate, and this is how he turned out. Again, this is just pencil on paper (my favorite medium, just in case you haven't noticed). This one also took 40 minutes or so because of the details and all that hair. Enjoy!

The Lass Has Spirity

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 came out on DVD last month, and it comes packed with extras and cool stuff. Of course, I'm sure they'll release another more complete, more collector's edition version either before the third movie opens, or when the three come out in the inevitable deluxe pack or something like that.
I talked about the movie a couple of times when it opened, and yesterday, while I was reading Entertainment Weekly, I came across this little feature describing all the records POTC2 broke. Whether you liked the movie or not, I still think it's interesting. According to EW, Dead Man's Chest boasts the following accomplishments:

• Best opening-day gross ($55.8 million).
• Best opening-weekend gross ($135.6 million).
• Fastest movie to earn $100 million.
• Fastest movie to earn $200 million.
• Fastest movie to earn $300 million.
• It's the seventh film ever to cross $400 million in the USA (it earned $423.3).
• It's the third movie in history to hit the billion mark worldwide ($1,065,300,000).
  

Will Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End be as successful? It seems difficult, but we should never underestimate Jack Sparrow. I mean Captain Jack Sparrow.

GMeP: MI2:LCR - Connections

Here we go, two in a row.
When I said "On Screen", I hope I wasn't misinterpreted. In fact, I hope I was, what the heck. The thing is that I wasn't thinking only about movie scenes. Oh no. A screen is a screen, whether is connected to a DVD player, as to a PC, to a videoconsole or to a movie theater projector.
Probably one of the best videogames ever, this, Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge, is one of those old point-and-click adventure games that LucasFilm Games developed in the early 90's. For many of us that was really a golden era.
Of course, if you've been reading the blog, you'll be familiar with the Monkey Island saga by now, specially with our last 'Pirate Week' and all. Well, this is one of the best moments in it. I mean, don't say you don't love that song, with the skeletons dancing and all. Surrealism has been always my favourite kind of humour.

We Would Surely Avoid Scurvy if We All Ate an Orange

Empecinado sigo en mantener el tono pirata en el blog, a ver cuánto soy capaz de aguantar. Como intento desesperado, este dibujo de hace cuatro años. La técnica, lápiz sobre papel (difícil, lo sé). La inspiración: la verdad es que no me acuerdo. Estoy bastante seguro de que está relacionado con Monkey Island, pero no lo recuerdo. De todas formas, no tengo mucho que decir, aparte de que, después de cuatro años, todavía me gusta; lo cual es todo un logro. Normalmente tardo mucho, mucho menos en encontrar mis dibujos repugnantes; pero, por alguna razón, éste me sigue gustando. En fin. Será cuestión de disfrutar esos escasos momentos cuando se presentan. Enjoy!

Look! A Three-Headed Monkey!

Seguimos con la temática pirática en el blog, que para algo somos originales.
Es de todos conocida la fantástica serie de juegos de Monkey Island; y si por si todavía quedaba algún despistado, Halagan y yo hemos estado mencionándola recientemente. Bien. Pues a raíz de esos comentarios y de la presencia de Pirates of the Caribbean en las pantallas de medio mundo (pronto de los confines del mundo), se me ha ocurrido hacer un post al respecto. Y el tema es el hipotético reparto para una hipotética película basada en el juego.
Hace algún tiempo -probablemente cuando todavía hacía buenas películas (o, al menos, películas que a mí me gustaban y funcionaban en taquilla, que ya sé lo que alguien me va a decir)-, pensaba que Brendan Fraser podría ser un buen Guybrush Threepwood, el protagonista de la legendaria saga. Sin embargo, desde que mi Molo favorito me descubrió Scrubs, pienso que Zach Braff sería un (wannabee) Mighty Pirate perfecto. De hecho, empecé pensando que Braff -o, al menos, su personaje en la serie, JD- era el perfecto Fry (de Futurama) humano. Y de ahí a pensar en el bueno de Guybrush sólo hubo un paso -o trescientos, más un par de mapas y una cabeza de navegante.
Así que se aceptan comentarios, quejas, ideas y sugerencias; y no sólo para Guybrush, claro. Aunque él es el alma de la serie, y sin un buen Guybrush Threepwood no puede haber monos de tres cabezas. Es así de simple.

PD: Buscando links para poner en el post, he leído una interesante entrevista con Ron Gilbert, el creador de los dos primeros juegos de la serie, en la que dice: "I think the thing is, when I planned those games out — and this is nothing new — but, when we did the first one the whole story just got too big, which is when I broke it up into three different parts. I know what that third one is, right? So it's not that I kind of sit there and think about "oh, what would the third one be?" I kind of know how that story's supposed to end, so I don't really think about it too much.."
¿Acaso todo el que se relaciona siquiera tangencialmente con Lucas tenía todos sus proyectos pensados desde el 77?

Ahoy, Mateys!

As promised, here it goes: my own very review for Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest. First of all, I need to warn you, my dear reader. This post contains a LOT of spoilers. If you haven’t still watched the movie, don’t read further. Unless you don’t give a rat’s ass about it, of course. Anyway, I mean it, if you don’t want me to ruin you the experience that is discovering a new story without the smallest knowledge about what’s going to happen in it, stop reading. This is your last chance. I won’t say it again. C’mon, stop staring at the beautiful words. Okay, if you haven’t stopped reading now, you’ll never do it. So here it goes...

After eight months of cinebacy, I, as a great movies fan, started to think that it was time to cut it out. My whole body was begging for me to go to a big crowded movie theater, armed with a big tank of pop-corn and a cola-flavoured beverage of a famous worldwide brand, that I’m not going to mention. To be there, I was saying, with my pop-corn and my Coca-Cola (oops), enjoying a spectacular movie, action-packed and extremelly funny. And, which movie would comply with those conditions better than Pirates 2? Or so I thought...

And indeed well I thought. The movie is extremely enjoyable, and IMHO, slightly better than its predecessor. I laughed, and I felt delighted, like a kid again, watching an adventure movie and eating pop corn (I’m not as pop-cornsessed as it might seem, lo giuro). The Pirates sequel has everything that makes these movies so likeable. It has a frenetic rhythm that never slows down its pace, fabulous landscapes, wonderfully done CGI monsters and creatures, pirate ships sinking each other without mercy, returning old known characters who change sides as their own interests force them, absurd situations that try to steal a laugh from the audience (and often do it), great portrayed and stereotyped villains. This movie has it all to be a hit.

The thing that does it for me is the way the characters are written. They’re humans, with human feelings (and then there’s also Sparrow). I mean, stereotyped as they are, they are very credible characters, crooks, self-centered or love-driven. Of course they are all beautiful people (except the ones that need to be ugly, and by Gelder they are), but, apart from that, the bad guys aren’t always so bad, and the good guys aren’t always so good as well. The couple of comical scoundrels Pintel & Ragetti (not a fashion designer franchise) are back again, this time as a couple of turncoats that always stand in the side of the person who can benefit them the most (or who will beat them the less, to be more accurate). Just the same as Commodore James Norrington (where have I read that last name before?), a man who had it all in the first movie, and who starts from less than zero in this one, turned precisely in that he despised so much: a drunk looser, nothing wannabe, a leftover. He didn’t handle at all his fiasco of the first film, he lost it all, and he didn’t take it well. The characters come and go, they enter and leave, they climb and fall, they die and resurrect... Just the way world is.

Bill Nighy, that actor whose face you know very well but you never remember where the hell did he appeared, makes a wonderful Davy Jones, the baddest guy of this movie. But he has his feelings too. I actually sympathize with him. Like with Bootstrap Bill, Will Turner’s father who’s always in search of redemption, or like with Elizabeth’s father, Governor Weatherby Swann, who gaves up on everything he believed in for love to his daughter, and once and again watches his own perfect world around him crumble and fall.

On regarding The Three Musketeers, Johnny Depp’s rendition of Jack Sparrow is as crazy as always, so there’s nothing new about that. Maybe in this movie he’s a bit more treacherous (and, BTW, effeminate) than in the first one. His relationship with Will Turner is once again one of mutual comradeship and trust... Who am I kidding? Will can’t stand Sparrow, but time after time he’s compelled to save him, or to put his trust on him. Jack, on the other hand, well... he really doesn’t think much of other people feelings, now does he? He doesn’t even think a lot about Elizabeth’s feelings (and, yeah, Keira Knightley is hot, finn5fel, we all know it), but he doesn’t miss the oportunity of playing with them. She, Elizabeth, ends a bit confused herself. At the last minutes of the movie, she tricks Sparrow with a warm kiss, sacrificing him to the Kraken to save her own life and those of all her friends. And at the very end she cries for that. Does she regret what she’s done, condemning him that way? Definitely. Is she physically attracted at least in some measure to Jack? Maybe. What kind of woman wouldn’t fall in love with a young handsome pirate who is totally crazy, a bit clumsy, who is completely egotistical and by the looks of him one would say he’s gay? And Will saw the kiss. That must have hurt. Wouldn’t had been wonderful if at the very end of the movie, when they’re given the chance to bring Sparrow back to life, he would have said simply "NO", and would have walked away? The hell with Mr. Sparrow and Elizabeth, who can’t trust him enough to tell him what she’s done. But, of course, Will agrees to follow Elizabeth till the end of the world (literally) to go saving Jack, because that’s what will make her happy. And Will’s such a gentleman, you know.

Of course Will and Elizabeth will end happily together, and Sparrow will sail the seas again, alive and as crazy as always. This is a Disney movie, isn’t it?

The movie, though, isn’t flawless. It’s far to be. It suffers from a McGuffin excess, on the first place. The characters are searching a non metaphorical key, and the chest that it opens. And the whole movie, and absolutely everything the characters do, it has to do with finding them. Who cares if the chest contains Davy Jones heart or anything else? BTW, I gotta say, if you have something as precious as your heart, and you want to keep it safe, don't put it in a chest and bury it somewhere, especially when you’re an almighty mutant pirate whose only weakness is that you can’t put your feet on earth except once every ten years. I mean, keep the chest with you, not the key. Or put it in the bottom of the ocean, but never there where you’re the only person who can’t have access to it. It’s stupid!

What was I saying? Yes, the McGuffin excess. The whole movie develops around that, and that can end tiring the audience. The line is not completely crossed, IMO, but not for a long distance. And another flaw I find to the movie, which can also end boring if not well used, is the excess of non-credible scenes. It’s the Peter Jackson’s King Kong syndrome. In that movie, there are a couple of scenes that are over-exploited, like the one in wich the filming party, in Skull Island, encounter face to belly with a herd of diplodocus-like dinosaurs (if not diplodocus themselves, which I really don’t know). Well, a brutal stampede follows, with everyone running through a narrow canyon between the legs of the dinosaurs. Well, what are the odds that anybody would survive to that? Very few, I should say. I would accept that it could happen (especially on a movie that goes about a zeppelin-sized ape that falls in love with a tiny little woman), but that scene goes on and on, and on and on, and never seems to end. The scene itself is so incredibly incredible that the spectator ends switching off and doesn’t buy it (or that’s what happened to me at least). And he gets bored. Well, the whole Pirate’s sequel is plagued with that kind of scenes. Not so obviously unbelievable ones, yes, but there are so many... like the waterwheel fight scene. It’s well designed, well filmed, well choreographed, but it’s so incredibly long, the wheel spinning and spinning, rolling and rolling, on the forest, on the beach, without something that blocks its way, without something that makes it fall. It’s something so incredible to happen, that if you make it happen, and don’t stop it at the right moment, weighs down the scene, and the movie itself. The good thing is that Pirates 2 is such a light-weight film, such a laugh-searching movie, that it can be forgotten. It’s appropiate to the general mood of the movie. Just like on the scene where they plan to damage the Kraken with six casks filled with gunpowder and thirty of so casks filled with rum. Sparrow shoots a musket ball to the net containing them and, miraculously, hits one of the only six gunpowder casks. Pues eso.


And another thing that I didn’t like: the repetitive story scheme. Captain Jack Sparrow is once again pursued by a doom. Wasn’t that the first movie storyline?

I will finish saying that nobody owes a movie to nobody. Despite all the things I’ve just criticized (that’s what reviews are for, aren’t they?), I really liked the movie. On contrary to finn5fel's opinion, it’s not the best movie ever. But I will never regret having broken mi cinebacy to go watching it. With all those small details and references... Doesn’t that wicked witch of the Caribbean that is Tia Dalma bear a strong resemblance with a character of our beloved Monkey Island videogame series? It was fun to watch it. And it will be more fun to watch the third installment, the next year, although I really really hope that nobody else gets resurrected. Even Barbossa, too? Let’s hope they've got a good explanation for that one.

Trim the Sails and Roam the Sea

A couple of quick facts for you, wannabe pirates. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is, according to one of my favorite magazines (the only one, along with Wizard Magazine I am subscribed to) Entertaiment Weekly, the 7th most-grossing movie of all time. The movie looted $5.2 million last week, adding to a total gross of $401.3 million so far. This means that Spider-Man ($403.7 million) might not be the 6th most-grossing movie of all time for too long, hehehe.
So, other than being one of four movies to earn more than $400 million on its first release (I read it somewhere, but I can't find it to quote the article), it has become (always according to EW) the second-fastest movie to pass the "$400 million plateau". It's only taken Captain Sparrow and his crew 45 days to rack such an impressive bounty. Do you know what movie made it in 43 days? Lord of the Rings? Star Wars? Nope. It was Shrek 2. Weird, huh? At any rate, POTC: DMC is right now No. 7 of all time, so we should celebrate. Go plunder some convent!

Why Is the Rum Always Gone?

I guess I could pretend I’m not biased, but this is the sequel to my favorite movie of all time, so I was pretty sure I was going to like it. Well, I was wrong. I didn’t like it. I loved it.
I knew from the very beginning the idea behind the first Pirates movie was to start a franchise. However, Johnny Depp’s movies had never been blockbusters, and the last few pirate movies to be released (in the last decade, give or take a few years) had all flopped (Cutthroat Island, anyone?). I guess that’s why the first Pirates had a pretty much closed ending. If it worked, they could do some more; if it didn’t, well, that was it. But the movie went on to plunder $305.4 million, becoming an unexpected blockbuster.
Three years later, we get the second (out of three) installment. I love the first movie, so I didn’t want to get my expectations up, because I knew I’d be disappointed. Then I saw the teaser trailer, and wasn’t very impressed (the teaser for the first Pirates blew me away, but it’s not in the DVD; does anybody know how I can get it?). Then I saw the extended trailer, and I started to hope: it looked damned good.
Then Friday came, and I went to the first showing at 11:30. The theater was packed with people and families and cute little 6 year-olds dressed like Captain Jack Sparrow. I saw the movie. And it was fantastic.
What’s there not to like? Great dialogue, excellent performances, compelling characters, a solid story that uses many elements from the Pirates universe that was introduced in the first movie, old and new characters alike, the bad guy with the coolest design I’ve ever seen (he reminds me -in a less flaming way- of Dead Pirate Zombie LeChuck [follow the link and keep scrolling down for a little paragraph I just found discussing exactly that: the similarities between LeChuck, Captain Barbossa, and Davy Jones] from the fabulous Monkey Island games), incredible special effects, fights and action sequences so well orchestrated and so full of audacity that leave you gasping for air. Gasping and laughing. And laughing. And then laughing some more.
I loved it. I loved it all. So I went to see it again that same day, at 7:30. And I liked it even more than the first time. The movie theater (my beloved Rave) was packed, more so than I had ever seen it before. The parking lot was a nightmare of cars, and I was hoping they were all there to see the movie, because I wanted it to do well. Hell, I wanted it to blow competition out of the water. And when I read the newspaper earlier today, I saw it had. Big time.
According to USA Today (you can also check the numbers at Rotten Tomatoes.com), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest has already broken a couple of Hollywood records. First, it’s had the biggest opening weekend in history with $132 million. (The four former champs being Spider-Man with $114.8 million, Star Wars III with $108.4, Shrek 2 with $108, and X-Men 2 with $102.8) And second, it’s had the biggest single-day take ever at $55.5 million. (Former champs were Star Wars III with $50 million, and X-Men 2 with $45.1) In other words: it looks like this movie is going to be HUGE, which it certainly deserves.
The only “bad” thing is that, since they shot this one and the third one back to back, the movie just stops after a certain point rather than end. They’re pulling a Back to the Future (or, more recently, Lord of the Rings, even though BTTF follows the exact same pattern POTC does) on us, and they leave us hanging until next May 25th, when Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End will open, and the story will end.
So do yourself a favor and go see it (I’m definitely going again). And when you do, wait until the credits are over because, just like the first one, there is a hidden scene at the end. And don’t tell me the credits are boring, because Hans Zimmer’s cool music is playing. So there you go. Show your love for Captain Jack Sparrow, and go see the movie. You won’t regret it.